Video: Eight tips for how to fake French

So you don’t speak French but you wish you could. Join the club. Luckily, there’s no need to learn this beautiful language, you can learn to fake the language in just 60 seconds.

Check out the video below to get you started on the sounds – then scroll down for the full explanations and bonus tips.

Oh, and If you like what you see here, why not become an Earful Tower member 🙂

1. Imitate a horse. 

This one’s pretty easy, just be sure to look disinterested when you do it and really relax those lips.

2. Imitate a monk. 

Easy too. Any gap, any silence, just add the monk noise as explained in the video. Eughhhh.

3. Randomly say Metro names.

This is actually the easiest way to sound French. They’re easy to learn, and it’s a lot more impressive than just saying the classic Sacre bleu (which no ones says) and Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soir (which no one says either).

SEE ALSO: 30 things about the Paris Metro that even Parisians don’t know

4. Say the French swear word putain 

This is probably the most important French word to use if you want to sound French. It means whore, but don’t worry, no one seems to have any problem using it.

Bonus tips not in the video:

5. Throw in a few vachements

It means “really”, but literally means “cow-ly”. As in, that holiday was vachement bien (cow-ly good). This word featured in one of the most popular Earful Tower episodes – The 24 best words in the French language. Listen by clicking play below.

6. Say du coup 

This is a filler phrase that doesn’t mean anything, but say it every seven seconds to sound like a French person. It sounds a bit like dookoo.

7. Say “bah” when you need to get your breath

This is another VERY popular filler word, pronounced like bah or bar. This word featured in the episode we did about the worst words in the French language. Have a listen here.

8. Say oh la la, but add a lot of la’s for good measure

French people do actually say Oh la la, meaning “Oh my god”. But I’ve learned the more la’s you add, the more you’re reacting. I once heard seven la’s from an old lady in a supermarket who dropped yoghurt on the floor.

There you go – you can now fake French!

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